Sweet, Beautiful Chaos

Today was our first family day in almost two weeks. And it was fun. And it was chaos. It was one of those days where, at the end of it, Eric and I just look at each other and ask, "When did this become our life???" He's brushing the dog's teeth while Lyla runs laps around the house wearing absolutely nothing. We finally get responsible and put a diaper on her and then join in on her little pre-bedtime workout. All four of us, dog included, running laps around the whole downstairs... Through the kitchen, dining room, living room, entry way, hall, family room and repeat. Over and over and over, laughing and hollering and barking and making sweet, loud, chaotic memories (miraculously no one got hurt and Lyla didn't run into any walls: WIN). 

This is the stuff of parenting that I love... The stuff that doesn't always make sense. Like giving a two-year-old a bowl of ice cream and brownies.. A serious mess, and often the reason she doesn't fall asleep for three hours, but totally necessary at the same time. Or wrestling on the floor, knowing that there will be a few accidental head-butts and gut-jumps, but also a very necessary part of childhood. Picking out flowers at the store and letting the two-year-old carry them around, knowing they will be a squished mess by the time they get into a vase. Setting up the pool and all the outdoor toys and then tearing it all down at night and picking up the entire mess of a yard over and over again. Sharing popsicles that melt all over hands and feet and white swimsuits and faces in the hot, hot sun. I'm starting to get it now... How special those things were that my parents did for me. And I'm learning to appreciate it even more now that I know how much extra work, mess and, sometimes, pain goes into making precious memories with kids. It would be so much easier to stay home, only feed her healthy and clean foods, only allow tidy play, and to only ever encourage her to be calm... To rarely go out and do activities, like bike rides, because anything with small children takes more work and more time and usually a little more stress...

It's a hassle. And it doesn't always make sense. But it is good. And it is so, so important. Because we only have these little ones for so long. I've been reminded several times lately that we only really have today with our people. Tomorrow is not a guarantee. We assume that we will get these 18 years with our kids, but none of us really know how much time we will have with them. So, we make messes. And we make memories. And we hold them a little extra tightly when they get owies or sit still for a rare moment. We give countless kisses and hugs and cuddles. And we push down inevitable feelings of guilt for not enjoying every single moment because this is REAL LIFE. Constant toddler meltdowns and poop in all the wrong places and endless fussing and bedtime fighting... Sometimes (ok, usually) hard to enjoy. But we balance the hard out with the good. We give thanks for the craziness that our life has become. Because, in all reality, it's all a gift. Every messy, chaotic activity we get to do together... Things to be grateful for. 

So, I sit here in the darkness and quiet of my still-not-unpacked bedroom, listening to Eric rocking our little girl and singing the VeggieTales theme song for the 3572nd time. She's been fighting bedtime a lot lately and tonight when we checked on her, Eric picked her up and said to me, "You go write. I don't get much time to snuggle with her." He gets it. Mama needs a break and Lyla needs some daddy-time, making sweet memories that will last. And tonight we go to bed exhausted and worn out and sore and sick of singing Veggies. But we also go to bed with full hearts, thankful for family time and chaos. Messes and memories. And we will do it all over again tomorrow, hopefully after a good, solid night's sleep with few interruptions (ha). 

24 Hours of Gratitude

I have countless things to share... Lots of thoughts and ideas strewn about in notes on my phone and computer, but none seem quite right for today. This happens often, actually. And the best solution I can think of is to share some gifts... Simple, yet profound things that I have collected over the last 24 hours. Beautiful reminders of goodness and grace. So, here is my list. And let this be my first official blog invitation to you to make your own. Gratitude is oh. so. powerful. 

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Listening to bath time... Daddy washing away the day's dirt and sticky, settling meltdowns and worshipping all at once... Oh, and now there's some guitar. Daddy's playing guitar. During bath time. Does it get any better? Rock star dad. 

Countless cherry toms on the two plants out back... Slowly but surely turning from green to red and yellow... Miraculously not yet picked by a curious toddler. 

A sweet pup following close behind while thirsty plants are quenched with recycled pool water... Carrying around a treasure. A golf ball found in the bushes where she has also found an outdoor bed. ON the bush. Not beside it. She lays ON TOP OF the bush, people. Oh Scout. Whatever works for ya, dog. 

Lyla in awe and wonder at the ant crawling around the pool and then up her arm and then into her hair. "Ant pretty". Yes, dear one... Even the tiniest of creatures is beautiful. Thanks for the reminder. 

A collection of nature treasures... A leaf, a rock, a flower and some buds. Small, insignificant finds that my girl deemed valuable enough to collect and save. 

Frankincense oil for a sun-kissed face and ever-feeling heart. A sweet scent to calm and refresh and remind. 

The way she 'nods' along to songs... Making sure that mama is watching. Amazingly along with the beat. Any music will do... Jingles from toys. A ringtone. Daddy's phone music. Currently "Good good father" playing. The song ends and I hear a frantic "mom more feek (music)". Sure, girl. I can't get enough of that one either.

A cool, yet still sunny morning. A welcome break from multiple 90 degree days. Fresh air breathed in and no sweat in sight. 

An unexpected FaceTime chat with Thailand. In the midst of chaos. Cereal dumped on the floor, dog-vacuum at work while toddler cries over her snack's misfortune. Even chaotic, five-minute, virtual visits help to encourage and build up an otherwise already (at 9 am) worn out toddler mom. 

Play dates with new mama friends... Sharing stories and babies and hearts and coffee and hospital cafeteria scones and life. Toys strewn across every inch of carpet proving that two happy toddlers did some good learning and sharing this morning. 

Leaving daddy with little miss to do bedtime.. Driving all alone. Enjoying a much-needed impromptu fro yo date with a new friend... Some alone time away to recharge and reflect... And to raid Hobby Lobby clearance.

Lyla asleep before 9:00... For the first time in I-don't-know-how-many days. Finally some good rest for a busy girl... And her tired mama. 

Grateful.

Sarah